Hello friends!

I am writing this on Day 5 of my surgical recovery and the first day that I have truly felt human. Surgery definitely didn’t go as expected but everything is fine, I am fine, and recovery is going as well as it can be. Even though this is only the third installment of this series, I’ve found it quite comforting to share this story with the world. There is something calming about the idea that even one person reads this a realizes they aren’t alone. If you get queasy reading about medical stuff, I would recommend skipping this one though…

So surgery…

I had a laparoscopy which is a fancy way of saying they stuck a tiny camera into my abdomen to see what is going on. My medical team knew I likely had a blocked right tube, which is why we scheduled this. The hope was that this surgery would mean we could potentially  succeed naturally in the future or with only a couple round of IUI.

As I said, the surgery didn’t go as expected but neither did the preparation leading up to it. After waiting around 3 hours longer than expected, they placed an IV in my hand that was the length of my hand. To say it was painful was an understatement. I’ve had numerous blood draws and more IVs than I can count but nobody warned me that the ones they give you for an endoscopy, or wisdom teeth removal, or even at the ER were a quarter the size of the one they had to place. I’ve never cried during an IV placement but you bet I did for this one…

Next was the nerve block that they said was easier than the IV. NOPE!! I had three people physically holding me down while I sobbed during the entire procedure. And this was on a sedative. What they didn’t tell me was the sedative made it so I didn’t fight back but did ZERO to relieve any of the pain. After all of that I had no energy left going into the surgery.

Thankfully there were some familiar faces for my surgery. I had my own Dr as well as one of the fellows I’d met with a few times which definitely put me at ease. I wish I could say I didn’t remember anything but I remember a lot. It’s taking some time for me to process and work through. I still keep panicking thinking about the IV or the nerve blocks again. That will get better with time and work though.

The first 48 hours after my surgery were awful. I basically took meds and slept while eating occasionally. I also cried. A lot. Days 3 and 4 were better but not great. Now on Day 5, I finally feel some semblance of humanity again. I’m very sore and trying my best to take it easy, but I feel like a human at least.

Now for the results…

Turns out I have endometriosis. This isn’t a shock to me. Actually, this was what I kind of expected. Thankfully, none of it spread to other organs but they were able to unblock my right tube and get rid of the excess tissue. This surprisingly gives me a lot of comfort. If we had gone the IVF route and not the surgery, it likely would’ve failed. Not only was my tube blocked, but there was tissue likely preventing implantation. The removal of this tissue should also help minimize a whole host of other medical issues I’ve had over the years.

So now for the future…

For me personally, I’m taking all of November to heal both physically and mentally. My hope is that our next round of IUI can begin in either December or January. I’m trying to feel hopeful that this surgery was the key to success and that it’ll only take a few months to succeed in a pregnancy. I’m also very anxious. Despite having done IUI in the past, the thought of more needles or procedures is literally terrifying to me.

It’s crazy what people will do for a tiny human that doesn’t even exist yet.